Long days fading into long fucking nights, humid starry starry nights. Out back at mom’s with sleepytime tea, and Nina Simone albums. I feel so infinite, and so aware of my God damn soul. This old porch swing is withering, and getting sadder each year. Dad installed it on some spring morning not very different from this one. Fog rising up from the pond and distant locusts making melody. Every part of my body is aching for meaning; everything feels important right now. It’s like I am ready

for the stars to fall from the sky

for my heart to explode and with it’s rupture and turbulence bring me rhythm and upward motion. 

for the dense wall around my affections to go up in flames

and to finally find myself at the foot of someone I deserve, who deserves me.